Blogging the Grammys, Ickmusic Style

I thought I would add my comments (be them positive or snide) during tonight’s Grammy Awards broadcast. In encouraging news, The Boss has already won a Grammy for Best Traditional Folk Album, but of course this is during the pre-TV phase when they’re dishing them out to the categories with any real meaning or substance. But I digress. Prince is up for a couple tonight as well, so let’s see how it goes, shall we? I’ll try to spare my wife from my smart-ass commentary that accompanies any awards show we watch, and I’ll share them with you instead!

• Good to see that Bruce won a Grammy for his ‘Wings for Wheels: The Making of Born to Run‘. The category was Best Long Form Music Video. This was also presented in the pre-TV part of the ceremony. As for Prince, he’s nominated in 5 different caregories tonight.
• The Police just played together for the first time in what, 20+ years? Excellent performance of “Roxanne”. Though I did hear Sting’s voice in the backing vocals as well. S’ok though. A great performance followed up by Jamie Foxx completely erasing the energy with some dumb “police opening up the Grammys.. Snoop Dogg running away joke.”
• Tony Bennett giving a shout out to Target as the best sponsor he’s ever worked for in his life! Go Tony!
• Dixie Chicks “Not Ready to Make Nice”. Better than I expected. Guitarist dressed like she’s straight out of Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love” video.
• “One word… Beyonce.” So just sayeth Prince. I hope that’s not the only P. moment of the night. The man is riding a high, there’s gotta be more on tap. Beyonce? Looking good. Those hips! Short little ballad. Nice.
• Black Eyed Peas giving a nice little short history lesson on Booker T. & the MG’s. They’re a lifetime achievement honoree. And now they’re giving out best R&B album…. HUGE SURPRISE! Mary J. Blige! (*sarcasm – not the last time). With Prince graciously standing behind her clapping. I’ve mentioned before, no MJB fan am I. But to be fair, I haven’t really listened to her. BUT, let the MJB night begin. We’re gonna be listening to her blubberin’ all evening I think. And her mile long list of Thank Yous….
• Justin Timberlake performance. Not bad. But my 9 month old daughter was making funny faces, and that was a lot more captivating to me.
• Pink and Lupe Fiasco (I think?) (Update: nope, it was T.I.) give away best R&B vocal performance to . . you guessed it… Mary J. Blige. Praise to Lord Jesus.
• Corinne Bailey Rae performance. Never heard / seen her. Love her voice. John Mayer joins on guitar. John Legend on piano. Legend… this guy is everywhere. Talented guy though. Enjoyable performance. So far, no cringe-inducing moments. But it’s early. I’ll be seeking me out some Corinne Bailey Rae.
  
• John Mayer sings “Gravity” with Corinne on harmony. Nice tune. Mayer ripping into a great solo on his beat up Strat. Impressive. My God, real music!!
• And Mayer follows it up by winning best pop / rock song or someting of the like. No shout out to his loving, intelligent girlfriend Jessica Simpson!
• Ahhh, like a gushing oasis in the desert, SHAKIRA. She speaks the truth, her hips do not lie. Wowee. She takes top spot for hottie of the evening.
• Song of the year, presented by Burt Bacharach (who’s wearing those trendy shades) and Seal. Get ready for another Mary J….. Yep. Wait, NOPE! Dixie Chicks steal one from her Bligeness!
• Gnarls Barkley performs “Crazy” in airline pilot uniforms. “Crazy” never really connected with me. I know it was the summer song of 06. Some of you regulars dig Gnarls, and I’d probably like the album, but at this moment in time, not blown away by ol’ Gnarls.
• Mary J. Blige performance. Eh. She’s got pipes alright, but man, easy on the melodrama.
• A Bob Wills & the Texas Playboys tribute by Carrie Underwood. “Rose of San Antone”. It wuld be easy to jump all over an American Idol-er, but this girl does have talent. Great voice, and a very lovely girl. Jeeps, I’m being way too nice here.
• Followed by Rascal Flatts doing a very boring version of “Hotel California”. Lead singer plays air guitar. Ok. Next.
• Underwear – er -Underwood sings “Desperado.” Cripes, I’m feeling like a dirty old man here, but she takes #2 hottie of the night after Shakira.
• Smokey Robinson sings “Tracks of My Tears”. He looks 40, and he can’t close his eyes. Ah, botox…
• There’s my boy Lionel singing “Hello”. All that’s missing is the blind chick sculpting Lionel’s head with clay. You know…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73l9oJ3pZlA
• Damnit. Just saw a huge image of James Brown, and thought Prince would finally be granting my wish, but nope. It’s Christina Aguilera singing “It’s a Man’s World.” Shoulda been Prince my friends, shoulda been Prince.
• Ludakris, Earth Wind & Fire, and Mary J. Blige perform. A song about runaways, drugs, etc. Best part: Earth Wind & Fire’s bass player with a shit eating grin behind Mary and Luda as they sing and rap so seriously. Magic.
• Prince ran a spot to thank everyone for watching his Super Bowl performance. Interesting.
• Jennifer Hudson comes up to the stage with her right breast hanging far below her left one. This will be worthy of a photo when available. Update: see?
  
• Timberlake hits the stage again. Two performances each tonight from JT and Mary J. Blige. Nothing touches Justin’s Dick in a Box with Andy Samberg though.
• Rock & Roll! Al Gore and Queen Latifah presenting Best Rock Album! Hope Tom Petty wins this one, though we all know he won’t. Methinks the Chilis will get it. *drum roll * Yep. Chili Peppers. Drummer Chad Smith is the spitting image of Will Ferrell.
• Saving the best for last: Scarlett Johanssen. Oh Scarlett, sweet Scarlett… she presented album of the year with Don Henley.
  
• So, Dixie Chicks win Album of the Year, and the most awards of the evening. My eyes hurt.

Summing it all up. I was most impressed with Corinne Bailey Rae tonight. I was disappointed that Prince had nothing to do while Blige and Timberlake got all the quality face time.  But as you all know, I’m heavily biased.

Well, I’m off to do the dishes and re-establish contact with my wife.